Best Served Cold
by Allybally
Summary: All's fair in love and war. Mostly war.
1. The Story

Looking back years later, neither one would be able to say what _exactly_ had caused it.

Of course, they would each blame the other.

If their friends knew, they hid it well.

Most likely for fear of dredging up old issues.

But Tanis and Adena never had any problem recounting the oh-so-dramatic moment when they first heard the news…

"Gary Furlong and I are _through_!" Adena's head shot up from the book she had been flipping through. She was met with an _extremely_ irate Cody standing furiously in her doorway.

And by the looks of things, her mascara was running.

A lot.

That simply would not do.

"Sweetie," Adena all but leapt off her bed, shifting into 'motherly mode', "what's the matter?" She took Cody by the arm and led her over to her bed, shutting the door quietly and grabbing a box of Kleenex on her way.

"I am _finished_ with that _stupid_, _egotistical, hair-brained, idiot_-,"

"What's going on out here?" Tanis entered from the bathroom, clad in only a bathrobe and a towel wrapped around her hair.

"Um, I think Squib and Cody are fighting-,"

"Not fighting!" Cody cut her off in what Tanis thought to be an unnecessarily loud voice, "_Broken up_!"

"_What_?" Tanis asked.

"For _good_!"

"Okay, okay, calm down," Adena pulled a Kleenex from the box and began to gently wipe the black smudges away from under Cody's eyes. "Start from the beginning." Cody nodded, taking a few deep breaths, while Tanis sat herself beside her friend.

"Okay, so, I walk into the cafeteria for lunch, right? And I see him sitting with that dumb Isabelle chick, and she's all-,"

"_Oh, Squib," Isabelle giggled flirtatiously, "You were so great today! I wish I had your talent…"_

_Squib chuckled, smiling in what he hoped was a dashing manner, "Oh, please, I'm not all that great…"_

"_Yes you are!" Isabelle quickly assured him. "It must be all that working out you do. I mean, you must work out; with arms like those…"_

"_Hey guys," came I decidedly tense voice. The two looked up (although not that much, because she'd always been pretty tiny) to see an angry Cody._

"_Oh, hey, Cody," Squib said cheerfully. Obviously the very notion that a pretty girl was talking to him made him oblivious to the fact that his girlfriend looked like she was about to slap the pretty girl._

"_What's going on here?"_

"_Oh, Isabelle and I were just talking…"_

"_Really? How nice. But if you don't mind, Izzie, I need to steal him away for a moment." Without waiting for an answer, Cody grabbed Squib by the arm and dragged him out of the room._

"…And then she just freaks out on me! She's all _Why the heck were you talking to Isabelle? Don't you know she only wants one thing?_ And I'm all _Well soooor-ry! Didn't know I was your property_!"

"Sounds tough, man," Cameron nodded sympathetically, sitting on his bed and listening to Squib's tale of woe.

"It was _ridiculous_!" He exclaimed. "So I tell her it didn't mean anything, but she's all-,"

"_Oh please, Squib! It meant something to her! You always do this!"_

"_Do what?" He asked indignantly._

"_Fall for the first piece of-,"_

"_Hey now!"_

"_-that lays eyes on you!"_

"_It's not my fault some girl actually shows an interest in me!"_

"_What's that supposed to mean?"_

"_You spend more time in your darkroom than with your boyfriend!"_

"_Well, maybe if my boyfriend wasn't always off with other girls-,"_

"_Well, maybe if you weren't so jealous-,"_

"_It's not my fault you can't control yourself!"_

" _That's it! We're through!"_

"…So he _dumps_ me!"

"Seriously?" Tanis asked, looking slighting horrified. "Just right there in the hall?"

"_Right _there!" Cody confirmed.

"He dumped you?" Adena asked.

"In the _hall_!"

"_That's it! We're though!"_

"…So she _dumps_ me!"

"Wait, she _dumped_ you?" Cameron asked in disbelief.

"_Dumped_ me! Right there in the _hall_!" Squib exclaimed.

"That's…harsh, man."

"Damn right, it's harsh!"

"…So then he just walked off in a huff! I mean, what a jerk, right?"

"He can't get away with this!" Tanis exclaimed.

"What do you mean?" Cody asked, substantially more clam but no less angry.

"I think she _means_," Adena explained, "if that you deserve revenge."

"She can't get away with this," Cameron informed his friend.

"What do you mean?" Squib, never the brightest crayon in the box, asked.

"I mean we need to get revenge."

Squib sat up excitedly, "You mean, like, kidnapping? Cement her feet into concrete blocks and toss her in Lake Memphre?"

"…We'll talk about this when you've calmed down."

**Don't ask me where this came from. And I know it's out of character for Cody to be sobbing over a guy, Cameron to seek revenge, and Squib to plot her murder, but…**

**Artistic license?**


	2. The Morning After

"I've been thinking, guys…" Cody began as she sat down to breakfast the next morning.

"And…?" Adena urged her.

"Maybe this whole revenge thing isn't a good idea."

"_What_? Of _course_ it's a good idea!" Tanis declared. "He can't get away with this!"

"I know, it's just," Cody sighed, "it's not very mature."

"Of course not! That's the point!" Adena informed her.

"You weren't opposed to it last night," Tanis chimed in.

"But I was upset then."

"And you aren't now?"

"No, I am," Cody said, "but I just think there are better ways to handle this."

"No way," Tanis shook her head, speaking through a mouthful of cereal, "you need to take him _down_!" She slammed her fist on the table dramatically.

"Okay, aside from the fact that she just spewed Frosted Flakes all over me," Adena said pointedly, "Tanis has a point."

"I don't know…I just-,"

"Morning, ladies," Cam said loudly as he took a seat beside Tanis. Squib sauntered up behind him, taking care to sit directly across from The Ex.

"Morning," Tanis muttered, staring at her plate.

"How are you all this _fine_ morning?"

"We're good," Adena spoke in much the same fashion as Tanis.

"You know," Tanis spoke after a few painful moments of silence, "there are other tables to sit at."

"Why, Tanis," Cameron feigned shock, "are you implying that you don't want us eating with you?"

"Well, it's kind of awkward…" She pointed out.

"Well, maybe it wouldn't be if your girl over their hadn't dumped Squib-,"

"Hold on!" Adena cried. "You think _she_ dumped _him_?"

"Well she did!"

"You told him I dumped you?" Cody demanded, glaring across the table.

"I told him the _truth_," Squib spoke for the first time.

"Obviously not," Tanis interjected, "because the _truth_ is that your _boy_ dumped Cody!"

"He did not!" Cameron exclaimed. "She dumped him! Right there in the hall!"

"_No_! He dumped her right there in the in the hall!" Adena countered.

"I can't believe you lied like that," Cody hollered at her ex-boyfriend.

"I didn't lie! That's what happened!" He yelled back.

"No! You dumped me! I think I'd remember, Squib!"

"I think _I'd_ remember, Cody! _You_ dumped _me_!"

"Okay, okay," Tanis shouted, rising from her seat. "Hold on a sec," she stood on her chair, then stepped onto the table, careful to avoid their breakfasts.

"Attention!" She called, "Hello? Everyone? I just need a moment of your time!" The room quickly quieted as the students turned to face her. "As you may or may not have heard, Cody and Squib have broken up," the room remained silent.

"For _good_," Cameron added. Gasps and whispers rippled through the student body. As the noise began to rise to a buzz, Tanis spoke again.

"I know, I know. I was shocked, too," she nodded sympathetically, "but we need some help! See, it seems there are two stories floating around. Cody says Squib dumped her-,"

"Liar," he muttered.

"And Squib says that Cody was the one that dumped him," Tanis continued as though he hadn't spoken. "Now, what we need are some witnesses! Did anyone happen to see the breakup?"

The cafeteria remained silent, "Come on, come on," she tried to coax her fellow tennis players, "I know getting in the middle of a Cody and Squib fight can be scary, but trust me, no harm will come to you!" Still nothing.

"Come _on_, people!" Tanis stomped her foot, growing impatient, "_Someone_ must have seen something! That hallway was not _empty_! Just say it!" When the room _still_ remained silent, Tanis jumped up and down, effectively spilling the Top Guns' cereal and juice.

"Well, fine then! You know what? You can all go fu-,"

"_Tanis_!" Adena shrieked, jumping up and grabbing her friend by the arm. "That's enough! Sit down!"

"I've had enough," Squib said, standing up, "my breakfast is dripping onto the floor, and you three are clearly insane," he gestured to Tanis, Adena, and Cody, who was attempting to mop orange juice off her lap. "I have practice."

"Wait up, man!" Cameron rose, shaking Fruit Loops off his arm, and followed.

"Well," Adena sighed, "a lot of good _that_ did."

"Guys," Cody spoke calmly, placing a pile of soaked napkins on the table, "I've changed my mind."

"What?"

"I want revenge."

**Tiny chapter. This is officilly my pet project. For long weekends like these, because some loser invented 'Family Day'...**

**Nova- It's not my fault. You know I'm totally a valley girl at heart. Was it not you who commented on my use of 'oh my God'?**


	3. The Plan

"Jealousy," Adena spoke firmly.

"Jealousy?" Cody echoed.

"Jealousy."

"If only Nate were here!" Tanis exclaimed, "He would be perfect!"

Adena sighed, "No kidding. Have you heard how he's doing?"

"In his last email," Cody told her, "he said his mom's place is worse than military academy, Cascadia, and Catholic school combined."

"…Melodrama."

"Yeah."

"Well, what about Rick?" Tanis asked.

After a moment of silence, they all firmly declared, "No."

"No need to encourage him," Adena said.

"Well, who?" Cody asked.

"Don't worry. We'll find someone," Tanis promised her.

* * *

"Jealously."

"That's brilliant!" Squib exclaimed, pacing frantically as Cameron lounged on his bed. "But who?"

"Isabelle? She's cute," Cameron suggested.

"Erm…I don't think so…"

"Why not?"

"She…kind of told me that if I ever came near her again she'd file a restraining order."

"…You tried to hit on her, didn't you?"

"Maybe."

"Fine," Cameron sighed, "Lily?"

"Threw a glass of orange juice in my face."

"Janelle?"

"Slapped me."

"Catherine?"

"Called me an egotistical, male, chauvinist pig with a bad case of halitosis."

"Damn it, Squib!" Cameron exclaimed, "What is _wrong_ with you?"

"Hey! It's not me, it's them," Squib was quick to defend himself. "There are lots of girls out there who will have me!"

"The _one_ girl who will have you," Cameron said pointedly, "is the one we're trying to make jealous."

"Fine," Squib sighed, sounding defeated, "now what?"

"Don't worry, man," Cameron assured him, "I'll find you someone."

"You sound awfully confident."

"I, unlike you, know how to handle the female species. I am _suave_."

* * *

"Cody!" Tanis ran up to her in the hall as she unloaded her books in her locker.

"What's up, Tans?"

"Okay," Tanis whispered, "look right over…there!" She pointed furiously over her friend's shoulder. "See that guy?"

"Which one?"

"Green shirt."

"Oh, yeah."

"What do you think?"

"He's cute," Cody shrugged.

"His name is Taylor Sturgis and _he's_ our guy," Tanis informed her gleefully.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously," Tanis nodded, "Adena's planning to talk you up to him during math class."

* * *

"Hey, Jenna," Cameron called, quickening his pace to catch up to the tall blonde.

"Hi, Cameron," she smiled.

"So, I was wondering," he put on his best charming smile, "what do you think of…Squib?"

"Ugh. Like, Squib Furlong?"

"Yeah."

"Gag me."

"Oh boy," Cameron muttered. "Well, you know, he's really not all that bad…"

"Are you kidding? He's the _worst_. He has the maturity of a sponge," she shuddered for emphasis. "Besides, isn't he dating Dr. Myers' daughter?"

"He was, but they split. He's a free man now!" Cameron tried to sound excited. "So how 'bout you and him-,"

"No way."

Cameron sighed, "Come on, Jenna. _Please_?" She paused, looking thoughtful. "For _me_?"

"Well…I suppose," she smiled at Cameron, "but you owe me!"

"Oh, of course," he promised, grinning widely, "me and you, next weekend!"

"Sounds perfect. So, with Squib…" her smile faltered.

"Don't worry; he'll take care of everything," he hastily assured her, "just meet him at the front doors at seven on Saturday, okay?"

She sighed lightly, shrugging, "Okay. See you, Cameron."

"Thanks again!"

"Yeah, yeah…" she sauntered off, looking thoroughly _not_ excited about her date.

* * *

"Hey, uh, Cody, right?" Cody turned to see the boy Tanis had pointed out to her earlier walking toward her.

"Uh, yeah."

"Hey, I'm Taylor-,"

"Yeah, I know," she told him, grinning in what she realized was probably an idiotic fashion.

He laughed nervously, "Well, uh, I was wondering…I know you just split with your boyfriend…but if you have no plans this Saturday…"

Cody decided to help him along, "I'd love to go out with you."

He laughed again, visibly more relaxed, "Great! So, um, there's this really good Italian place just off 37th ave in town…"

"Sounds great."

"Awesome. Meet you at the East doors at seven?"

"Perfect," she smiled again as he turned to leave.

"Well?" Adena rushed up to her mere seconds later.

"Seven o'clock Saturday night," Cody smiled.

"Awesome!" Adena exclaimed. "Oh, by the way, I told him you were loose, so…"

"Adena!"

"Well, I needed to get him interested in you!" She continued as Cody scowled, "You don't have to _do_ anything! Just flirt a lot; maybe undo a couple buttons on your blouse…" Cody sighed, rolling her eyes and walking away.

* * *

"Alright, man," Cameron entered his dorm, "you and Jenna are going out this Saturday at seven."

"Aw, man, Jenna? The really giggly chick?"

"Dude, were you not listening to yourself earlier? You don't have the luxury of being picky."

"Whatever," Squib shrugged, "thanks, man."

"No problem. _And_ I heard that Cody and Taylor Sturgis are going out the same night-,"

"Aw, no! Taylor _Sturgis_? He's all wrong for her!"

"No, Squib!" Cameron exclaimed, "Don't go all macho and jealous! Stay strong! United front!"

"Right," Squib said, nodding, "united front. Stay strong."

"They're going to that Italian place off 37th ave. I figured you and Jenna could go there, too."

"Sounds good, man."

"Oh, and, Squib?"

"Yeah?"

"One more thing: try not to…talk too much."

"…That's probably for the best."

**I don't hate Catholics or Catholic school. I _am_ Catholic and went to Catholic school up to grade nine. But they can be a little…strict there. And I've heard horror stories.**

**Nova- an email is coming…sometime…**


	4. The PreDate

"Stand up straight."

"Don't giggle too much."

"Don't be _rude_."

"Don't act all artsy."

"Don't act all intelligent."

"Don't-,"

"Got it!" Cody exclaimed, pushing Tanis and Adena away as they fussed with her hair. "He likes girls who don't slouch, never laugh, are polite, have no personality, and are _dumb_."

"Exactly," Adena chirped, barely listening as she pulled a red sweater out of Cody's closet and helped her in.

"Guys," Cody sighed, stepping out of their grasps, "I've _been_ on a date before!"

"But this is different!"

"Yeah," Tanis added, "this is a _make my ex jealous_ date! This needs to be the best date of his _life_!"

"Squib's?" Cody asked, confused.

"Taylor's," Adena corrected her, handing over her purse. "Now, make sure you keep your cell _on_ and call us if you have a chance!"

"Fine," Cody conceded, "but unless someone is dead or bleeding their liver out their ear, I _don't_ want you two calling me! Understood?"

"Yes, Cody," the two girls nodded dutifully.

"Did you hear?" Tanis asked as the three left Cody's room and moved to wait on the living room couch, "Squib's going out with _Jenna_!"

"Jenna the _Tramp_?" Cody asked incredulously.

"The very one," Tanis nodded.

"What a little mothe-,"

"Calm down!" Adena cut Cody off, "As if he even has a chance with her. I'm sure Cameron had to pull some strings. Who cares, anyways? Let's focus on _you_!"

"Yeah. You _need_ to make a good first impression," Tanis nodded, "_everything_ is decided during the pre-date."

"…The what?"

"The _pre-date_," Adena sighed, "honestly, Cody!"

"What's a…pre-date?"

"The pre-date," Tanis explained, "is everything that happens from the moment the door is opened to the moment you arrive at your main destination; in your case, the restaurant."

Cody shook her head, "Whatever."

"No! It's very important!" Adena exclaimed. "The pre-date is everything! It determines the whole course of the date date!"

"…Date date."

"The _rest_ of the date," Adena sighed, exasperated, "geez, Cody, get in the loop!" Cody was about to retort when Tanis grabbed her hand.

"Come on! You're going to be late! That will ruin the pre-date!"

"Tanis! You're a poet!" Adena cried.

"Not the time," Cody reminded them as the three headed out her door and toward the school.

* * *

"Well, how do I look?" Squib exited the bathroom.

"Those pants make you look fat," Cameron didn't look up from his magazine.

"You're hilarious," Squib deadpanned. "But seriously?"

"That's fine," Cameron glanced at Squib's casual attire. "It's not like it'll matter; Jenna's not exactly…"

"Smart?" Squib offered.

Cameron shrugged, "That works."

"Okay, I've gotta go. I don't wanna mess up the pre-date."

"The _what_?"

"Dude, the pre-date! It means everything! It's from the time the door opens to-," Squib paused, "I've been spending too much time with Tanis and Adena," he shuddered, moving towards the door.

"Good luck, man," Cameron said as his friend left. The door clicked shut. "You're gonna need it…"

"Jenna?" Squib called. The girl turned around, looking rather exhausted.

"Hey, Squib," she said in what one _could_ construe as a whine.

"You ready to go?"

She shrugged, "I guess."

"So, you, uh, look really nice."

"Thanks," she replied in the same monotone voice.

"Everything alright? You're usually so giggly, I-,"

"Didn't Cameron tell you not to talk?"

"Well, yeah, but-,"

"Maybe you should take his advice."

* * *

"Sorry about those two," Cody laughed lightly as she and her date made their way off the grounds, "they can be a little…"

"It's no problem," Taylor laughed as she trailed off.

"So…" the two spoke at the same time after a short pause.

"Sorry," Cody laughed.

"First date jitters," he shrugged.

"So," he tried, again, "you're into photography, right?"

Cody paused, remembering Adena and Tanis' advice, "Well, I mean, it's a hobby…" she trailed off, shrugging nonchalantly.

"Really? Well, I mean, you must know a lot of stuff…"

"Not really," she shrugged again, "I just click around with the camera when I get bored…"

"Oh," he said, sounding somewhat disheartened, "that sucks. I'm really interested in that kind of thing."

_Crap, crap, crap_. "Well, what are your hobbies?"

Taylor laughed, "Well, I suppose tennis wouldn't count. Uh, I don't know…Swimming, video games," he chuckled self-consciously. "What about you? How does a girl keep herself entertained in a school full of jocks?"

"I knit!" Cody exclaimed quickly. She instantly froze. _Knitting_? She had already ruled out photography, and couldn't think of anything not _arty._

"Knitting?" He repeated at length.

"Yes."

"Well, that must be…lots of fun." Cody groaned inwardly. Just how important was this pre-date thing, again?

* * *

"So, Jenna," Squib simply couldn't take the silence anymore. "How's…life?"

She sighed, "Life's okay."

"Just okay?"

"Yeah."

"…Okay."

"That's what I said!" She snapped.

"No, I meant…" Squib sighed. "Never mind."

"Seen any good movies lately?" Squib asked after another lengthy pause.

"Yeah."

"…What ones?"

"This one…with this guy…he did stuff…"

"Fascinating," it was all Squib could do not to roll his eyes.

"Read any good-,"

"No."

"Hear any-,"

"Nope."

Squib sighed, "Well, did you see-,"

"Remember that not talking thing? That was good."

* * *

"So, here we are," Taylor said as the two approached the restaurant. Cody had managed to keep the conversation afloat after the knitting fiasco, but still felt rather stupid.

"Awesome. I really like…food," now she felt _really_ stupid.

"Uh, that's great," he chuckled. "Come on," he held the door open.

"Oh no," Cody froze in her tracks.

There, at a small table against the wall, were Squib and Jenna the Tramp.

…Who looked kind of…_dead_. She was resting her head on her hand, eyes glazed over and unblinking as Squib said something (presumably stupid, Cody thought).

"What?" Taylor turned back.

"Uh…" she toyed with the idea of telling her date that her ex was here, but was unsure if the pre-date was technically over. "Nothing, it's, uh, I forgot to feed my…fish!"

"Your fish?"

"Yeah, but, it's fine. I'm sure Tanis and Adena will do it."

"Alright, then," Taylor smiled, "let's go," he nodded in the direction the Maitre D' had walked off. Cody glared as they walked passed Squib and Jenna.

Oh, he was going to _pay_.

…**I have nothing to say here.**


End file.
